Re-energize your meetings, Re-activate your members

Many of us have attended conferences, institutes, and seminars facilitated by our national headquarters, governing bodies, or other parent organizations. We have sat through talks about making positive change, living with integrity, developing ourselves through adherence to our mission statements and through service to others.

We have left these sessions extremely motivated and excited to make an impact on our campuses. And many of us have come back and gotten heavily involved in trying to make good things happen. Some have succeeded, and some have not. Few, however, have come back and successfully relayed this same excitement and inspired this same motivation in others. How is this possible? "These guys are so apathetic!" you may have told yourself--but this isn't exactly the case.

What happens in your chapter meetings?

Are they interesting? Do you go through your regular updates, maybe vote on a new by-law or two, announce upcoming events? Then do you have the occasional guest come in to speak about an important topic, mostly because it fulfills a university-imposed requirement? Finally, do you tell some funny stories about one another, say some special secret words, and call it a day?

Does this leave you feeling charged to be the best member of your organization you can be?

Sadly, I rarely leave this type of meeting feeling anything other than sleepy--or frustrated. Maybe it's just because I'm now one of the "old guys."

Personally, I doubt that when William Alexander, one of the founders of Pi Kappa Alpha, ever left his chapter room in 1868 he thought to himself, "Gee, that wasn't worth putting off studying for my psych midterm. I could have totally just read everything they just said in an email." Other than the fact that email wouldn't be popular for another hundred-and-twenty years or so, there were several reasons for him never to feel this way. Exactly ZERO of these reasons were the fact that their meetings were uninteresting, unentertaining, or uninspiring.

So, let's combine these anecdotes of the conference-going member and the chapter-going founding father. What do they both have in common? If you answered, "Individuals who left organized gatherings with a renewed excitement, sense of purpose, and understanding of what needs to be done," then you would be correct!

Now, it's up to you to decide what this can mean in terms of format, but take this as an open challenge to make your organization's regular meetings more engaging, inspiring, and fun. How will you guarantee that every member walks out of every meeting more informed, more confident, and more effective than when he or she walked in? Answer this--implement this--and you will not be disappointed.

Rrrrrrritual

Thoughts on Ritual

It is always difficult to know where to begin explaining Fraternity Ritual and its significance to someone who is not in a Fraternity or Sorority. My explanation is that Ritual is a meaningful tradition that we have, which is ceremonial in practice, embodies everything that we are and strive to be as individuals and Fraternity members, and is like the centerpiece of our existence.

Fraternities are meant to be meaningful environments, and Ritual is something that all members share with one another, reflect upon during its observance, and live out in our lives. Most organizations are secretive about their exact Ritual, but the principles outlined in someone's Ritual should be obvious in how they go about their lives; it should be obvious what he or she stands for.

Why is it secret at all then?

I like to think that this part is mainly in tradition. There is no real outside danger anymore to just be a member of a Fraternity that keeps secrets. There was a time, however, when members faced very real danger because of the way that secret societies were looks upon. The ability of our secrets to remain secret even through those tumultuous times is, for me, something that should be honored by continuing that tradition. Secrecy of Ritual I think also creates a sense of inclusion to those who are aware of it, and is like a reward for those who have devoted their lives to an organization. This is a pretty shallow way of looking at it, but I definitely see it as a factor.

Here is a pretty cool article from Lambda Chi about secrecy and Rituals in Fraternities. A quote from the article:

If the teachings of our Ritual were made available to anyone, then both members and outsiders would attach only a modest value to them. Instead, we have spent decades of effort keeping the truths of our Fraternity secret, and passing them down to those who come after us. This should convince us that what we have labored so hard to possess is indeed valuable.

So to bring it all together, Fraternity Ritual is an embodiment of our purpose, a guide to how to be the best Fraternity man you can be, and how Ritual is practiced is a nod to tradition--something that is also important for a sense of inclusion and meaning.

A Perfect World? Might as well dream...

My Perfect World is based on a very simple rule that everyone knows:

Treat others how you wish to be treated.

And you're thinking: "Duhhh." I don't know how more to elaborate on this, so let's think of how this could change things.

Would you like the ability to express yourself freely? If you do, then you shouldn't limit the expression of others.
Do you value the material possessions that you work hard to afford? If you do, then you shouldn't take others' from them.

Consideration for others is the underlying principle. A considerate world would be my perfect world.

I ran across this video from 1950 that explains The Golden Rule in another time... It's pretty funny how they approach this, and I think it's ironic how it's also from an era that many people see as a more "perfect" time (straight out of Leave It To Beaver), despite the many societal problems and injustices that existed at the time. Interesting how this rule was still preached during those times by the same people who would have failed to see the problems with what was socially acceptable then!

OpporFratunity

Sorry for the "fratty" title.

Describe in your own words the dilemma -- and the opportunity -- facing the Fraternal movement.

Given this as a prompt, I have had trouble thinking of some particular dilemma that we currently face as a movement. We are faced by difficult choices every day that affect our future as a whole. I can see where there have been great dilemmas in the past that have changed the way things work in Greek life at Ohio State, such as the choices made during the era when the Standards of Excellence were put into place. As I understand it, this requirement came from the top down to improve the quality and reputation of our organizations after a period that was, well, not something that I would have been proud to tell my mom about. It is a shame that we need to have things like the Standards in place, since by the nature of our organizations we should be setting good examples already. I guess sometimes we need that extra motivation of having "requirements" to meet in order to do what we already know we should do.

Anyway, in discussing that, I now have an idea of a dilemma that we face. Some people think that the Standards that we now fulfill should be updated. I have heard arguments either way, but the case for updating them centers around the fact that they were established in the earlier part of this decade, are somewhat low, and do not reflect the community that has grown up in the past few years.

I could support this.

The current Standards were probably a balance of what the enactors wanted to see and what they felt like people would actually do. This might have resulted in less rigorous requirements than originally intended. We could make this era's Standards a stepping stone toward an even more productive and active community. Many chapters are going above and beyond the requirements already and would have no problem with raising the bar. Those who are struggling now would either sink or swim: they would benefit from what would be involved in getting themselves on track to complete everything and consequently become a stronger chapter, or they would fail to meet demands and suffer whatever consequences that might entail.

Is this harsh? Maybe to some. Is it necessary? Not completely. But it is a logical step in the right direction if our aim is to expand our community's reach and reputation. We wouldn't need to make drastic changes but just raise our expectations evenly, more or less, emphasizing certain areas to reflect where we need to improve. If it were handled right, there probably would not be much opposition to these changes. Everyone should be able to see the intentions, and how this would play into our longer-term goals as a Fraternal movement.

Oath

What does Oath mean to me?

An oath is a binding contract between you and yourself.

Sure, you take an oath aloud, in the presence of others, with the assumption of pure honesty. You are subscribing to some requirements, so that the others who are present will know that when you are not fulfilling those requirements, it is your personal choice. For if you stood there and told them, with your right hand raised and maybe your left on something meaningful (or however you demonstrated your solemnity) that you would do something, and then later you do something inconsistent with that oath, you can be held accountable.

Why I think this contract is really something within an individual is because every individual is aware of when they are approaching the breach of their oath. An oath is more than an agreement because if you fail to adhere to it, you are letting down more than just the person or people at the other end of the agreement. Traditionally, oaths make an appeal to a higher power, making the breach of that oath something more serious, because then, not only are your peers upset with you, but also now is that higher power. Oaths require personal integrity, in the sense of the cliche that integrity is how you act with others are not watching you. They must be upheld even when--especially when--not around those with whom the oath is shared.

Anyway, the success of a Fraternity is based around the lifelong oath that all of its members take. It is what separates our organizations from others that just end with the college experience. We have a responsibility to ourselves and to one another to uphold certain things that which are spelled out in our Rituals will help us grow as individuals and encourage us to lead fulfilling, productive, and responsible lives.

Below is a painting, called "The Oath of the Horatii," by Jacques-Louis David, that I think says a lot about oaths in general.

My interpretation: The three soldiers on the left are taking an oath together. They have surrendered their swords and stand close, even embracing one another while taking this oath. Their stances show their determination and passion about their cause. They are in it together. The older man in the red robe is appealing to God to hear these men and witness their promise to what they will uphold. The women and children on the right are the reason for this promise. I assume they are the loved ones of these soldiers because, well firstly, there are obviously the same amount of young women as men. But also, their posture and expressions show their worry and fear for the men who are vowing to protect them. The left-most woman is comforting two small children, as to reassure them that everything will be alright now, but they are also in her shadow, meaning to me that she is hoping to shield them overall from whatever tragic experience she expects.

This painting says a great deal about taking oaths to bring people together. How similar is it to how you have experienced your oath in your Fraternity or Sorority?

Fraternal Strengths Finder

So here's the agenda:

• What are the strengths of your chapter and in what ways does your chapter need to improve?
• What are the strengths of your council and in what ways does your council need to change?
• What are the strengths of our community and in what ways does our community need to change?

These questions beg for a S.W.O.T. analysis, so I will oblige. (For anyone unfamiliar, a S.W.O.T. analysis allows one to break down something into its Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats, so that then a plan for success can be created based on those aspects).

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I. Chapter

Strengths

If I had to describe my chapter in three words, I would describe it as: On the rise. Currently, we are not exactly at the top of the campus' Fraternity list in any particular area, but we are improving across the board, growing in all areas somewhat equally.

Our strengths lie in our Brothers.

Our recent chapter history, filled with up's, down's, changes in recruitment processes, and changes in chapter facilities, helps to explain why our Brothers are currently very diversely qualified to lead us up the Greek ladder. Because of the many changes that we have experienced in the past couple of years, many classes of new members who have come through have experienced the intake process in different ways. Each brother has a certain attachment to the process that he experienced, and with so many changes, there are many ideas of the ways that we should do things.

Part of our strength comes from the older members of our chapter, who have the experience from which we can draw to maintain chapter traditions that have meaning to us. They are also mentors to the younger members, and can guide us to a more successful future by remembering where we have come from, and keeping us grounded in our close brotherhood.

The younger, more recent initiates of our chapter are very enthusiastic and ready to get involved, not only within the chapter, but also on campus in general. They are ready to try new strategies to help us develop as a whole, and generally want to contribute whatever effort they can to further our cause. They also have a strong sense of the values of the Fraternity.

Strengths: Experience and Enthusiasm!

Weaknesses

This is where change comes in again. Because we have been in a constant state of change, trying to find the best way to run our chapter in various capacities, we are not completely united in our Vision of what the chapter should look like. This lack of a unified vision causes many issues when decisions are made by members of the executive board. Though made with the best intentions, at different times some dissent within the chapter has caused rifts within the Fraternity. An effect of this can be seen in the lack of participation in the newer mechanisms by older members, who do not agree with the new systems in place. Some even seem to have a different mentality altogether of what a member should be here for; this is understandable, as of course, every man joins a Fraternity for different reasons. This is all okay, as long as every man is still acting congruently with the values of the Fraternity and striving to further its interests. Recently, one member expressed his concern to me:

"We've got a lot of people working too hard and a lot of people playing too hard, and not a whole lot in the middle."

This is a somewhat accurate portrait of where we are. There are some people working really hard to make us better, but not taking much time to reap the benefits, and in some cases, not connecting with other members enough because they're putting too much into the front-end. Others are spending a lot of time enjoying the fun aspects of what we have to offer, or complaining a lot about what they do not like without offering many positive alternatives (attitude has a lot to do with it), or simply not showing up. Ideally, I would like to see everyone in the middle. We all should be working hard towards the same end, and should be rewarded with the shared benefits of those efforts -- enjoying success as a chapter and having fun together.

Weakness: Lack of unity.

Opportunities

There are many opportunities for us, as evidenced by the weaknesses that I detailed above. We have the opportunity to unite the chapter, if we can just agree on a common vision. At the beginning of this executive board's term, the various chair positions of the chapter, in conjunction with the executive board, completed a strategic plan, outlining every area of chapter life. For each area, there is now a Goal, an Objective, and a Strategy.

Goals are broad ideas of what we ultimately want to see; objectives are like the "mile markers" that we want to hit on the way to achieving our goals; and the strategies outline the action plans for achieving each objective and, in time, fulfilling the goals.

We created this as a chapter, but I think from an overall perspective, we all became too busy in what we were doing this quarter to actually keep up with how well we were following this plan that we took so much time to create. It is laid out to make us a better chapter, but we spent more of the quarter bickering over inconsequential details than actually putting that same effort into our responsibilities.

Opportunity: We have a map; let's follow it!

Threats

I perceive our threats as being mostly internal. I've already harped on those issues enough, so I'll just summarize with the cliche: "We can only beat ourselves."

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II. Council

Strengths

The IFC this year consists of members from a range of chapters, and we have grown pretty close together through spending quite a bit of time with one another at conferences, retreats, and in having class together all quarter. We are very much on the same page when it comes to where we want to take the IFC community, and we have developed goals together that reflect this. Our strengths will be working together and relying on one another as resources, because we have a great deal of experience between us, and anything that we lack, at least one of us knows where we can go to find the answer.

Weaknesses

The weaknesses of our council are that there are only eight of us, and we need to make sure that we are hearing all of the voices of the community. We will be relying heavily on one another as we hold events, give presentations, and do our best to do the most for the IFC community throughout the year. This is not, however, a cop-out. We are all very capable in our respective positions, are surrounded by a community of motivated members who are always willing to help out, and we are already working to make the most of the time we have.

Opportunities

One take-home message from the IFC conference several weeks ago was that we have the opportunity to: Advocate, Collaborate, and Educate.

We can advocate for IFC chapters and the members of IFC chapters by being their voice to the campus. We are in place as representatives of that body, and we must do our best to help the overall cause of the Fraternity at Ohio State.

We have the opportunity to collaborate with other councils, facilitate collaboration between IFC chapters, and even collaborate between other Big Ten schools' Fraternities and Sororities in the upcoming year. These experiences will strengthen relationships in our community as well as provide valuable insight to those involved as to how others might be approaching the problems that many of us share as Fraternity members.

The council has the opportunity to educate through giving presentations, hosting speakers, and holding other such events on relevant topics of interest to the community. Education can extend past Fraternity and Sorority members, to the general campus population, faculty members, and other members of the OSU community, like residence hall staff, who could benefit from a better understanding of what Fraternities and Sororities are really about.

Threats

The threats to the council lie in not gaining the respect of the community. Many chapter members look at the IFC as a group that does not accomplish much or is just in place to discipline its member chapters. This is actually a very common view. We acknowledge this as a threat because it jeopardizes our legitimacy, and it because it is untrue. It is certainly not the fault of chapters or individual members that this is the case; the IFC needs to gain the respect of the community through an excellent year of programming and opportunities for involvement to work for everyone.

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III. Community

Strengths

Our strength as a community is that even though we are so diverse (giving us the ability to cater to nearly any individual, based on what type of Fraternal experience he or she seeks), we are still striving for the same things. This gives us strength as a community because it presents the opportunity for us to use our commonalities as a basis for united efforts in whatever we choose. Perhaps our goal is developing men and women who are, and will be, responsible citizens and bettering the college experience. Perhaps it is to raise a certain amount of money for a worthy cause, or maybe it's just as simple as keeping our community clean. Whatever we decide to tackle as a community, we have the common ground to work together.

Weaknesses

We tend to focus, of course, on our own chapters much more than the community. A weakness of our community is in reaching out to chapters for them to understand the importance of each organization's contribution overall. One prominent fraternity on campus that becomes known for being wild on the weekends and consequently gaining a reputation as a place where ambulances and police cars are frequent visitors, and where friends have gotten themselves in trouble, has an impact on the entire community because they are the visible ones, and they will become the image of the fraternity in many people's eyes. As a community, we could do more to promote positive behavior, and make that behavior what is visible. That is what we want to be associated with us.

Opportunities

I see the opportunity for us to change the entire perception of our Fraternal community and make an impact on other Fraternity and Sorority communities -- and the world. Just as the solutions to my own chapter's specific problems are laid out in our own strategic plan, the solutions to the Fraternal community's problems lie in all of our Rituals. The values to which we all subscribe are the values that will lead us to wherever we want to take our community. All of our Rituals in some way or another, and in some order or another, urge us to strive for excellence by being individuals who value scholarship, altruism, and leadership, sharing these and other principles as brothers and sisters -- holding that friendship is the true binding force between us as members of our organizations.

How can we all be this similar and not work together to make things better for all of us?

Threats

The greatest threat that I see to our community is incongruence with our values. See "Opportunities" above. The greatest threat to us is not pursuing these opportunities.

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Overload

AFLV was an incredible time spent with everyone from class, and I really enjoyed getting to know everyone so much better than before. And there were many well-spoken presenters that I really enjoyed listening to. I would have to say my favorites were Will Keim and Corey Ciocchetti. I took so many notes, and I was so blog-ready on the bus back! Being the organized individual that I am, I tried to keep it all pretty centralized, so I took all my notes all weekend in my phone... Yep, there's an App for that. So, where I'm going with this is that a day or two after we got back, we had the miraculous OSU snow day of 2010, and then I broke my phone. My biggest loss was all of the notes, quotes, and ideas that I put down in the past week or so! I'm so bummed!

I'll do my best to remember what I wanted to get across.

One thing that caught my attention: the constant effort by everyone to sell something. From this and from the conference in Indianapolis a couple of weeks ago, it really made me think about the motivation behind these presentations. Most presenters seemed genuine, had great things to say, and were really entertaining. But then again, that is their profession. They wouldn't have a job if they weren't entertaining to some extent. Anyway, it just rubbed me the wrong way and distracted me from the material when at one point I heard "...and do you know where you can find resources like that? I'll tell you. I'm giving them to you for ***free***!!! Just check out [insert something like www.YouDrankTheKoolaid.com]!"

In another one, the guy spent the majority of his speech telling me what "the" characteristics of a successful leader are: synonyms for the same characteristics that the previous speaker used, but they were in a different order. To pick on that presentation a bit, the SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) that many of us are familiar with, was apparently not good enough for this guy, so he created his own model: ROPES. I don't even remember what the first 4 letters stand for (had it in my notes), but they are very close to SWOT, and the final "S" is what he claimed really set his model apart. The "S" stands for "Success."

My reaction to that: "Well, isn't that special."

Wanna know the secret to success? Buy my book, pay me to speak at your school, and I'll sell my book to all of your friends. Success!

It's all relative, I suppose.

Anyway, to hop off that rant, I enjoyed the discussions that centered around character and values-based leadership without ever really focusing on "leadership" the whole time. My two favorite speakers didn't really make me think about leadership at all, they made me think about life. One made me think about the lives of prolific artists and musicians, writers and politicians, and I began to compare theirs to my own life. They were working with, generally, the same amount of time in their life (probably less, given the time periods that they lived) that I have. I think the speaker rounded it out to 25,000 days. These were people who really made the most of their lives. They found what they were passionate about, and built their lives around those things.

Corey Ciocchetti talked about priorities. An experience that he had, in which he thought he might have had some sort of fatal brain cancer, is what changed his outlook on life and rearranged his priorities for him. I think this also encouraged him to devote a lot of his time since then to helping others to realize what their true priorities in life are. We get very caught up in things as busy young people. The values of our Fraternities and Sororities, laid out in our Rituals, do not only help to guide us in how we should get along as chapters and behave as gentlemen and ladies inside and outside of our chapters (as I think we have tended to focus most on in our discussions in class), but they also help to remind us what is truly important in life.

Pi Kappa Alpha's Creed, for example, ends with a call to all of its members to: "serve my faith, my family, my community, my alma mater, and my Fraternity." The order of these obligations is what I think represents the priorities of our members. Family is put before any other worldly things. Academic commitments are named before Fraternity commitments, interestingly enough. I also really like that community is named directly after family. This I see as less of an obligation and more of a social responsibility. Collectively, feelings of social responsibility provide the most good for the most people. Be there for the community, and the community will be there for you. Value your priorities. They're in order for a reason.

And now for something completely different. (anybody get that reference?)

This commercial is hilarious... I've seen it so many times, but it never gets old:

What the French, toast?!